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And Then the Counting

Four boys. An inseparable friendship. One horrific tragedy. Told from the perspective of Ben, one of the foursome, "And Then the Counting" is an exploration of mental illness, male friendship, America's societal expectations of masculinity, and the many different types of love.

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“Shaking.

       Shaking.

            Shaking.

            It was all he could feel, an electrical current of worthlessworthlessworthless shocking his veins. Breathing, erratic. Eyes, stinging. Heart, a painful percussion. Nails, digging into palms. One, two, three, four, five fingers, one, two, three, four, five indents.

            It was a void. It felt like a void. It was a void. A black vortex swirling about his body and crushing him inwards, inininwards, the weight burying his ribcage into his lungs into his stomach into his diaphragm. He couldn’t tell where the darkness ended and he began. Could see nothing but the sphere of the tunnel, a pinprick of light existing in some far-off fantasy land, unreachable by foot, car, boat, or plane. His thoughts thrummed, hellish Burgessian drumbeats.”